Nah, I'm human. REALLY!

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teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.
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Don’t piss off your demon lover, boys.
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ARTHUR DARVILL AS MEPHISTOPHELES APPRECIATION POST

pajamanation:

BECAUSE HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE

ALL

OF

THIS

RORY WILLIAMS?

I DON’T THINK SO BITCH

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A Short Summary of Marlowe's "Doctor Faustus"

  • Mephistophilis: I'm surrounded by idiots
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societyisah0le:

Within the bowels of these Elements,

Where we are tortur’d, and remaine for ever,

Hell hath no limits, nor is circumscrib’d,

In one selfe place: but where we are is hell,

And where hell is there must we ever be.

And to be short, when all the world dissolves,

And every creature shall be purifi’d,

All places shall be hell that is not heaven.

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Permalink transdimensionalboundaries:

colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys
porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

WALNUT.
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Words to describe someone's voice

  • adenoidal: if someone’s voice is adenoidal, some of the sound seems to come through their nose
  • appealing: an appealing look, voice etc shows that you want help, approval, or agreement
  • breathy: with loud breathing noises
  • brittle: if you speak in a brittle voice, you sound as if you are about to cry
  • croaky: if someone’s voice sounds croaky, they speak in a low rough voice that sounds as if they have a sore throat
  • dead: if someone’s eyes are dead, or if their voice is dead, they feel or show no emotion
  • disembodied: a disembodied voice comes from someone who you cannot see
  • flat: spoken in a voice that does not go up and down. This word is often used for describing the speech of people from a particular region.
  • fruity: a fruity voice or laugh is deep and strong in a pleasant way
  • grating: a grating voice, laugh, or sound is unpleasant and annoying
  • gravelly: a gravelly voice sounds low and rough
  • gruff: a gruff voice has a rough low sound
  • guttural: a guttural sound is deep and made at the back of your throat
  • high-pitched: a high-pitched voice or sound is very high
  • hoarse: someone who is hoarse or has a hoarse voice speaks in a low rough voice, usually because their throat is sore
  • honeyed: honeyed words or a honeyed voice sound very nice but you cannot trust the person who is speaking
  • husky: a husky voice is deep and sounds hoarse (=as if you have a sore throat), often in an attractive way
  • low adjective: a low voice or sound is quiet and difficult to hear
  • low adverb: in a deep voice, or with a deep sound
  • matter-of-fact: used about someone’s behaviour or voice
  • modulated: a modulated voice is controlled and pleasant to listen to
  • monotonous: a monotonous sound or voice is boring and unpleasant because it does not change in loudness or become higher or lower
  • nasal: someone with a nasal voice sounds as if they are speaking through their nose
  • orotund: an orotund voice is loud and clear
  • penetrating: a penetrating voice or sound is so high or loud that it makes you slightly uncomfortable
  • plummy: a plummy voice or way of speaking is considered to be typical of an English person of a high social class. This word shows that you dislike people who speak like this.
  • quietly: in a quiet voice
  • raucous: a raucous voice or noise is loud and sounds rough
  • ringing: a ringing sound or voice is very loud and clear
  • rough: a rough voice is not soft and is unpleasant to listen to
  • shrill: a shrill noise or voice is very loud, high, and unpleasant
  • silvery: a silvery voice or sound is clear, light, and pleasant
  • singsong: if you speak in a singsong voice, your voice rises and falls in a musical way
  • small: a small voice or sound is quiet
  • smoky: a smoky voice or smoky eyes are sexually attractive in a slightly mysterious way
  • softly spoken: someone who is softly spoken has a quiet gentle voice
  • sotto voce adjective, adverb: in a very quiet voice
  • stentorian: a stentorian voice sounds very loud and severe
  • strangled: a strangled sound is one that someone stops before they finish making it
  • strangulated: strangled
  • strident: a strident voice or sound is loud and unpleasant
  • taut: used about something such as a voice or expression that shows someone is nervous or angry
  • thick: if your voice is thick with an emotion, it sounds less clear than usual because of the emotion
  • thickly: with a low voice that comes mostly from your throat
  • thin: a thin voice or sound is high and unpleasant to listen to
  • throaty: a throaty sound is low and seems to come from deep in your throat
  • tight: a tight voice or expression shows that you are nervous or annoyed
  • toneless: a toneless voice does not express any emotion
  • tremulous: if something such as your voice or smile is tremulous, it is not steady, for example because you are afraid or excited
  • wheezy: a wheezy noise sounds as if it is made by someone who has difficulty breathing
  • wobbly: if your voice is wobbly, it goes up and down, usually because you are frightened, not confident, or are going to cry